Page 72 – 73 / 1941 – 42

Left Hand Page

‘Chunkel’ v.2 (cont.) – Editorial, Opinion, ‘Bump’ and ‘The Balance of Life’.

[…] officers were gouging each other’s eyes out to buy these confections and the Flying Dutchman’s fortune was made. But why stop at this? What’s wrong with “Folies Fergere” Tarts (shaped like a leg). “P.O.W.” Tarts with barbed wire round them, or even patriotic Union Jack ones which should should have an enormous sale.

In London when things got tough cakes without icing appeared. This is indeed a retrograde step, and of which icing lovers might well ask “is it constitutional?” Who knows? Seed cake without seed may be the next blow; or doughnuts without any nuts, or even (horrible thought) rock cakes without any cake.

There is an old proverb that you cannot eat your cake and have it too. This is a fallacy, as any one well knows who has eaten one of the bean cakes from our cookhouse. You can certainly eat one and have it too – rattling round in your innards for thirty-six hours afterwards.

EDITORIAL (continued from page one)

gets a free hand.

Security and happiness will not fall from the skies. If we want a new world we shall have to work for it.

We can either be the hammer or the anvil.


Interviewed by us with Low’s permission.

“Gad sir. What I say is why can’t those small arms manufacturers make wooden legs as well?”

back to the edge of the field. “Steady the bomb while I connect up, will you” called the stranger. The man in the crater fixed the detonator and steadied the bomb with his hands. He called out to the stranger “all right now”. But the stranger paid no attention. The man thought that he must be deaf. He propped the bomb against his leg, cupped his hands to his mouth, and shouted again. “I say – are you ready? Sorry I don’t know your name –” “Harbottle” said the stranger and pressed the button.


The Pessimist says: Nature is cruel; Man is selfish. Envy, class-hatred and war distort the history of people; the life of the community is distorted by corruption and the misuse of power, by sufferings and diseases, by poverty and misery…. Life is painful, hurtful, and scarred by disillusion.

The Optimist says; Beauty reigns in nature, ‘a joy for ever’; Love reigns in life of man; one gives more than he takes; you work not only for yourself but also for your parents, family, and the community. Charm and helpfulness, generosity and pity are ever present threads in the pattern of life. Esteem for the just, reverence for the holy, admiration for the idealist, are inherent in the psyche even of primitive people. Then there is the eternal love between parents and children, between man and wife, and loyalty between friends.

There are diseases, of course, but they are fought and prevented by many means; most pains can be stilled; the infantile death-rate diminishes and longevity is obtained up to seventy years. The history of mankind is a continuous chain of discoveries and improvements, a fertile creative process in art, science and technique. Wars are decreasing in number and extent [and duration], and civilians are not longer sold as slaves. The thirst for beauty and social justice penetrates into the layers of society… I believe the optimist is right.

Make a balance of life. Add the number of hours and days of suffering and illness and hatred and fighting. Against these put the many hours and days of ease and delight, in our home, food, sport, business, holidays, religion and art; add to these the deep happiness of the love you received in your youth and the love you are able to share in your adult life. Then you will agree with me that the good is richer and fuller than the evil, that sorrow is surpassed by happiness. If this be not correct in the life every individual then it is certainly true of the life of the

Right Hand Page

‘Chunkel’ v.2 (cont.) – ‘The Intelligent Young Man’s…’ with George Sprod


A young man faced with the choice of a career in these hectic days could do worse than become a pastry cook. Cake is eaten by a large section of the community; indeed for some people, such as middle-class housewives and Australian shearers, it may form the staple diet. Cake is defined by Webster as a porous edible substance which sinks when put into water. This however, is not true in all cases; some cakes are not porous at all.

Cakes and similar products date from very early times. Under the Coronation chair in the Abbey, there is, I believe, a very Ancient scone which the Kings of Scotland, having given up all attempts to cut, used as a seat. It says much for the bad cooking of those days that even the rats won’t nibble at it now.

I once went to a military wedding where the bridegroom, instead of cutting the cake with a sword in the time-honoured way, threw a Mills Bomb at it. Several pieces of spongy stuff were picked up afterwards, but it was never ascertained, to my knowledge, whether they were pieces of the cake or the bride.

The traditional cake of my boyhood days was so fancy it looked like one of those funeral wreaths they have in glass cases, but nowadays you get streamlined ones with bullet-proof icing. I once knew a man who celebrated his jubilee by having a fifty candle-power bulb on the top of his cake. All went well until he tried to blow it out and couldn’t. He hit it with a hammer and several of the guests died of ground glass poisoning. The whole affair might have ended tragically, but he confided in me afterwards that only an uncle and two aunts met their deaths in this way so it might have been worse.

An ingenious Dutchman having one day accidentally baked a batch of tarts in the form of a heart, was struck with a bright idea, and instead of throwing them away or eating them himself, he christened them ‘Love-me-for-ever’ Tarts. In no time the […]