Page 94 – 95 / 1941 – 42

Left Hand Page

Reverse of ‘Bawdy’s Roman Holiday Scene 2’, on list of Alexandra Hospital staff.

Right Hand Page

‘Bawdy’s Roman Holiday Scene 2’ (cont.) and ‘Bawdy’s Roman Holiday Scene 3’, script (unknown author)

SCENE 2 (cont)

BR: Pshaw!

A: Her influence will spread throughout all Caesar’s Empire. If Caesar shall nurture her, even in this Rome’s darkest hour – Vulcan will smite his enemies. The Goths shall flee from Rome.

E: (pleased) You see?

BR: It is a plot to destroy Rome from within. How do we know that this is the maid? Demand of her a sign.

A: If she is harmed the Gods will visit a scourge upon the City.

BR: Demand of her a sign Caesar.

E: That’s fair enough Alfred. Let the maid give us a sign (Alfred hesitates then Bawdy sneezes)
A: It is a sign!

E: What is?

A: The sneeze! The maid sneezes! (Alf sneezes) It is the scourge! (He sneezes again – in Caesar’s face.)

E: What? (Prepares to sneeze) What is it? (Szs in Bs face)

A: (Prepares to sneeze) It is the in- (Can’t speak) the in- (hesitates) the in-fluenza (sneeze)

E: The -er-er- what? (sneeze)

A: Influenza, the plague of Britain.

BR: It’s a- it’s a- it’s a (Sneeze) plot.

A: No – er no – it – it – (sneeze) isn’t. ‘Twill – ‘Twill – (sneeze) spread!

E: (an order) Buy her. (nearly sneezes) Buy her. Alfred nods to Harry.

A: O.K. (sneeze) Bought.

H: What?

A: (sneeze) Bought!

H: O.K-K-Kay! (sneeze) Sold.

CURTAIN. End of Scene 2.


Scene the same – evening a week later.
Discovered Alfred and Bawdy.

B: Take me to the arean Alfred.

A: (abstractedly) What?

B: Tike me to the arena.

A: No.

B: Why?

A: I don’t believe in blood sports.

B: Well let’s go art an’ ‘ave some “wollop”

A: I want to read.

B: You ain’t much fun are you?

(Alf looks up then resumes reading)

B: (after a pause) Alfred.

A: (irritated) Yes.

B: Kiss me.

A: What? Now?

B: Course – Now.

(Business. Poor Kiss. Bawdy angry)

B: The Great Lover!

A: What?

B: I suppose you learned your technique from Cleopatra? (going off into a tantrum) Well if you think I’M going to stay ‘ere and be sleeping partner to a blinking bookworm – you’re mistaken! If you can’t rise above 32 degrees there’s plenty whose blood makes them more ambitions. Call yourself a man? You’ve got about as much fire as Vesuvius in the close season. I’m going to the arena with ‘Arry (She exits in a huff)

A: (running after her) Now – wait a minute. Bawdy!!

B: I’II take you to the – (exit Alfred. Enter Harry. A moment later enter Bawdy very angry)

H: Ello! What’s eating you?

(Bawdy does not answer. Sits down on box & powders nose. Harry sits besides her)

H: (very ingratiatingly) What’s the matter love?

B: You can take that away.

B: (Jollying her) Aw! Come off it. (He pulls her to him)

B: (softening) Now ‘Arry! Arry! ARRY! You shouldn’t I’m promised.

H: (Releasing her) Promised!

B: YAS! Alfred’s putting the banns up.

H: (Returning to the fray) Well then we’ve got three weeks (Bawdy laughs. Enter Brutie. Harry and
Bawdy part)


SCENE 3 (Cont)

B: (without respect) Oh, it’s you.

BR: Why you little – I’ll –

B. You can’t touch me, (Holds up her hand) I’ve got the Emperor’s ring. (Brutie stops)

BR: Well be very careful young woman. You won’t always have Caesar’s protection. And when that time comes…

B: ‘Ark at ‘im! He sounds like the villain in the silver King, (Mimics) Beware! Soon I’llI have you in my power. (Enraged Brutie draws his sword. Exit Bawdy in a rush.)

BR: (Replacing his sword) I’II give 500 pieces of gold to have that chit.

H: (Impressed) 500 piece of gold. Now that’s real money. (coming back to earth) But it can’t be done Mr.Brutie. Bawdy enjoys the Imperial protection, Now any other little slave girl as your fancy – blond – brunette or redhead – I could fix you up in a minute from the ends o’ the earth.

BR: If only we could pin something on Alfred. That’s the key.

H: (Suddenly remembering) Oo! I’ve never lit the votive candle. (He takes candle which is the only means of lighting in the room and makes to go with it to the window)

BR. Votive candle?

(Harry puts candle in window and mutters unintelligible incantation. He bows self consciously and returns)

BR: What was that you were mumbling?

H: (Not wishing to discuss) Only some words Alfred taught me to say.

BR: (Alert) Alfred?

H. I put the candle in the window every night like ‘e told me. It’s to propitiate the sun god.

BR: The sun god ? What at this time of night?

H: This is the time ‘e said.

BR: (Thinking it out) So ‘Alfred told you to put a candle in the window every night did he?

H: Yes, I know it’s silly, but you never know with those ‘ere gods. Might be something in it. Anyhow it don’t do any ‘arm.

BR: No harm? That candle must be visible for miles. (Suddenly) Take it out.

H: What? Oh, no. Nar-

BR: You heard what I said (Puts his hand on sword hilt) (Reluctantly Harry gets up)

H: (Going to window) Well you’ve ‘ave to take the responsibility. Alfred said if I didn’t do there would be a huge calamity. And ‘ees a seer. (Muttering apologetic incantation and bowing to the gods Harry take a candle and puts it back on table)

(Enter Alfred)

A: (Angrily, seeing that the candle is not in window) I thought I told you (He realises that Brutie is there and changes his tone) O, ‘ello, ‘Arry. Good evening Mr. Brutie. (He sits) (Casually) You’ve not put the candle in the window to-night ‘Arry.

H: (Uncomfortably) No. (Harry looks to Brutie for a lead. Brutie gives him the O.K. Harry gets up to move candle)

A: No. I’II do it. (He gets up and takes candle. His back is turned and he’s half way to window when Brutie stops him)

BR: Wait a minute. (Alfred half turns) What are you doing? Now don’t tell me you’re propitiating the sun god. (He gets up) You’re signaling to the enemy. (He makes to-words Alfred. Alf. Hesitates then dowses the light) (There is a scuffle in the dark, table turns over, Brutie bellows – Alf has presumably butted him in the guts. Alf laughs and makes his exit,)

BR: Get a light. Get a light. Hurry you fool. He’s away.

H: I can’t find the tinder box.

BR: Then strike a match you fool. (Harry does and lights candle.)

H: ‘Ees gone.

BR: I have the use of my eyes, slave. (Suddenly brightening) But the girl hasn’t (He rubs his hands) Get her.

H: EH (Hesitates)

BR: Call her. (Harry doesn’t like ti)

H: (Calling) Bawdy (Immediately) She isn’t there.

BR. Call again slave or I’ll strangle you with your own tripes.

H. (Louder) Bawdy!

B: (Off) Ye-es?